Healing From Trauma: A Spark in the Dark

Written by Mindi Haddock, LCSW

The First Spark

If you’re reading this, there’s a good chance you’ve carried something heavy—something that may still feel hard to name, harder to talk about, and sometimes impossible to make sense of. As a therapist who has worked with survivors of domestic and sexual violence since 2012, I want to begin by saying this clearly: I see you, and I believe you.

Healing after sexual assault doesn’t happen all at once. It’s not an instant move from darkness into light. More often, it begins with something much smaller—a spark. A flicker. A moment where the darkness doesn’t feel quite as consuming.

It might be a brief moment of calm, the experience of feeling seen or heard, or simply choosing to keep going for one more day.

Let me ask you something to reflect on: Can you think of a moment, no matter how small, when you felt even a little bit safe, grounded, or hopeful?

That moment matters more than you might think. It’s a spark.

The Weight You Carry and the Spark Within

Sexual assault is far more common than many people realize, and yet it can feel so isolating to survivors. Research from the National Sexual Violence Resource Center (NSVRC) shows that nearly half of women (45.1%) and more than 1 in 6 men (16.9%) in the United States experience sexual violence in their lifetime. *More than 80% of female survivors are first assaulted before the age of 25, and in about 9 out of 10 cases, the survivor knows the person who harmed them. Around 70% of survivors develop symptoms of PTSD, and only 25–40% of assaults are ever reported (National Sexual Violence Resource Center [NSVRC], 2026).

If your experience feels confusing, complicated, or minimized by others, you’re not alone in that. Many survivors question themselves, wonder if what happened “counts,” or blame themselves in ways that don’t belong to them.

From my years of working alongside survivors, I want you to hear this: What happened to you matters and your response makes sense. None of this was your fault. You are not alone.

Trauma doesn’t just live in memories; it can show up in your body, your relationships, your sense of safety, and even the way you see yourself. You might feel anxious, disconnected, have difficulty trusting others, or feel constantly on alert. These reactions aren’t signs of weakness; they are your system’s way of responding to something overwhelming and trying to protect you.

And even in the midst of all of that, there is something else worth noticing—a part of you that hasn’t given up. The part that reaches for support. The part that keeps going, even when it’s hard.

That is your spark.

Sparking Hope—Small Steps You Can Take Right Now

Healing doesn’t require you to leap into the light. It starts with noticing and nurturing those small sparks. Here are a few ways you might begin:

• Create a “spark moment” today- this might be wrapping up in a blanket, stepping outside for fresh air, or sitting somewhere quiet. You’re not fixing everything—you’re allowing a moment of comfort.

• Practice speaking to yourself with compassion- notice how you talk to yourself, especially in difficult moments. If your inner voice is critical or blaming, try softening it. You might say, “This is hard, and I’m doing my best.”

• Reach toward safe connection- you don’t have to carry this alone. Connection can help nurture that spark of hope—whether it’s a therapist, a trusted friend, or a supportive community resource.

  
  

And here’s where the metaphor of a spark becomes important. Even in the aftermath of trauma, there are often small, quiet moments where something inside you is still reaching toward safety, toward connection, toward healing. Maybe it’s the part of you that confided in a friend. Maybe it’s the part of you that showed up here or to therapy, or even just consider it. Maybe it’s simply the part that kept going. That’s the spark.

Keeping the Spark Alive

If there’s one thing I hope you carry with you, it’s this: Your healing is not a race. There is no “right way” to move forward.

Some days may feel heavy, and others may hold a bit more light. Both are part of the process. That doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong; it means you’re human and on the path to healing.

And those sparks? They are already within you.

They show up in your resilience, in your survival, in your willingness to keep going—even when it’s hard. Over time, with care and support, those sparks can grow. Not into a blinding light, but into something steady. Something warm. Something that belongs to you.

If you feel ready, you might return to that question from the beginning: Where have you noticed even the smallest spark within yourself? Start there. That’s enough for today.

If you are ready to begin your healing journey, consider starting therapy. At Resilient Life Counseling & Wellness, we have a diverse team of therapists fully equipped to provide compassionate and personalized care to individuals, couples, and families. We offer flexible, confidential sessions, both virtually throughout Utah and in person (Farmington, UT), and we are here to meet you where you are and support you on your journey. 

*References

National Sexual Violence Resource Center. (n.d.). Statistics. https://www.nsvrc.org/statistics