Cultivating Connection & Community

As they are for many Utahns, fireworks are a frequent if not always expected part of each July for me. Whether they startle or delight me, they usually prompt me to reflect on my decision as a young person to come to the United States many years ago. I was excited and grateful to come to the US because being here allowed me to pursue my interests, live my values, and move toward my goals. Growing up in one culture but living my adult life in another has not always been simple or easy, however, and I would like to share how intentionally nurturing connection with other people has helped me.

Connection through Active Listening

As someone who knew American culture mostly from movies (I am dating myself here as a pre-internet person), I had a lot to learn about the way Americans really lived. Much of my accurate knowledge and understanding came from active listening. In fact, active listening is often defined as listening to understand.

Because active listening is a skill that can help us in every area of life, the basics are worth reviewing again and again:

• Minimize distractions, like phones and screens

• Pay attention to the body language, tone of voice, facial expression, in addition to the words

• Do not interrupt

• Ask follow up questions

• Monitor and manage your emotional response

You can read more about active listening here.

Listening well also helped me see points of authentic personal connection to co-workers, neighbors, and acquaintances. It allowed me to find people I could open up to, and that led to deeper connection, understanding, and friendship. My investment of energy into building connection and community with others has always paid off. It is the trust, wisdom, and support of those people and communities that has sustained me in moments that felt heavy or lonely.

Seeing -- and Being Seen

Humans are social creatures. Sure, some of us are more introverted or extraverted, but that distinction is about the type or amount of social connection we need to fill our cup. In truth, we all require social connection to thrive. We thrive in groups that prioritize trust, mutuality, and care. Sometimes groups exist in the therapy setting, like Resilient Life Counseling & Wellness' series Becoming Resilient, or A Space for Us: Women's BIPOC Group, which starts Monday, July 28th.

Community can be found anywhere where we share something in common with another person: a stage of life, a shared experience, a hobby, etc. For me, some of the most nurturing and joyful communities have been book clubs, spaces where I was learning or teaching English with immigrants or visitors from all over the world, or celebrating cultural traditions. Aside from the limitations of time and energy, we cannot have too many friends or belong to too many communities, and there are countless ways we can connect to others today.

Find Support with Resilient Life Counseling & Wellness

As well as individual, couples, and family therapy, Resilient Life Counseling & Wellness  

provides a variety of community and group offerings throughout the year. Our past and upcoming events can be seen here. This month we are particularly excited to kick off our new and exciting experience designed to empower, connect, and support women of color, A Space for Us: Women's BIPOC Group, which starts Monday, July 28th.

Whatever your story, we are here to support you on your healing journey. We have a diverse team of therapists fully equipped to provide compassionate and personalized care to individuals, couples, and families. Offering flexible, confidential sessions, we’re here to help you thrive.