Culturally Rooted Healing and Compassion

As a bicultural Latina born in the United States, my father was Anglo American and my mother was South American from Peru. From my upbringing and what I've learned, I thought it would be beneficial to share some of my personal experiences that I've navigated, worked to heal from, and developed greater compassion for. As with many from multicultural backgrounds, I’ve dealt with my own multi-generational narratives that have been passed down to me, and have worked to unravel them. I’ve had to navigate challenges around self image and societal expectations of beauty, as well as manage my own experiences around imposter syndrome and the feeling of not belonging in certain spaces. I share this not to focus on the negative, but to help normalize and talk through each of these areas, so that we can find healthier ways to navigate them and integrate more compassion, empowerment, and acceptance.

Culturally-Rooted Narratives

I was often given the message "you must prove yourself by working hard", "don’t depend on anyone" and "put everyone else first." I was the oldest daughter, so I took on many responsibilities at a young age of caregiving my siblings. I also experienced some level of enmeshment where I was often the emotional support for my mother when dealing with her own personal challenges. I was mirrored messages of not feeling enough or criticized for not doing better or trying harder. This had led to significant moments of burnout and criticism of self throughout different seasons of my life. Over time, I have had to work to reframe these messages I told myself. This included setting better emotional boundaries in relationships. Also, finding more balance and awareness of the tendency to feel overly-responsible for others well-being. And finally, seeking to by more accepting of self in the individual journey of growth and understanding.

Self Image and Unrealistic Beauty Standards

Growing up as a minority young girl in my community, I often felt judged for having darker skin or ethnic features. I can even recall a time I was teased for it relentlessly in my adolescence. I was sometimes told not to tan or get too dark. I often felt the pressure from peers to be a certain weight or a certain height. As with many young girls, comparing is common. But particularly, the differences of hair, facial features and body type stood out to me. As I grew older into my college years, I was able to become more connected with others who looked like me, which gave me more confidence. I began to feel that I could celebrate my specific beauty, be proud of my ethnic features and see the things I love about my appearance overall. Over time, I have worked to value the uniqueness of my appearance and features, give myself more grace and especially as I age, love the new versions of myself more and more.

Finding Belonging and Acceptance of Self

Feeling like a minority for most of my life has contributed to certain sensitivities around belonging. There was a hyper-awareness around differences between self and others. I often used a survival skill called "code-switching" or working to assimilate so that you blend in more easily using certain language and mannerisms, particularly in different public and professional circles. This can become exhausting, particulary for many BIPOC individuals who often navigate this on a daily basis. Again, as I've gotten older, one thing I’ve worked hard on is to accept who I am, and become more comfortable with these differences. Even if judgment or disapproval comes in my direction, the more I know who I am, the more those opinions do not matter to me, which has brought a sense of relief and empowerment at the same time.

Overall, I’m grateful for the bilingual home I grew up in where English and Spanish were both spoken. I'm grateful for the food from my mother‘s native country that is to this day still my most favorite. I’m grateful for the heartfelt sayings or "dichos" from my abuela and mother that were passed down to us that have helped guide many of the values and traits that I've received and will carry on to my own children. I’m grateful for the increased understanding of putting certain narratives and criticisms aside, and not judging those before me given their own struggles, but working to gain empathy for them, so that I can increase empathy towards myself, including increased self-compassion.

This message is to learn from those before us. Create genuine understanding of their experiences. Work to shed the negative narratives and criticisms, and integrate the narratives that create empowerment and strength within. As we learn to increase our compassion for self, we will grow and progress in ways that will be healthy and positive focusing on progress, not perfection. Even if we feel like an outsider at times, if you can accept who you are and share that genuinely, the rest won’t matter.

Find Support

Whatever your story, we are here to support you on your healing journey. We have a diverse team of therapists fully equipped to provide compassionate and personalized care to individuals, couples, and families at Resilient Life Counseling & Wellness. Offering flexible, confidential sessions, we’re here to help you thrive.