Cultivating Gratitude and Appreciation with Gen Z

Written by Ellie Lambert, MSW-I, Interning Therapist

For young adults, relationships are often a major source of identity, connection, and stress. This stage of life involves developing skills to balance independence and connection, establish boundaries, and communicate personal needs. It is also a time for forming a clearer sense of identity within friendships, family systems, and romantic relationships. In the midst of school, work, social pressures, and mental health challenges, it is easy to overlook the small moments of care that help relationships feel secure. Gratitude is one of the most powerful tools for strengthening connection, supporting emotional safety, and building healthier, more fulfilling relationships during this period of life.

Why Appreciation Matters

When someone feels appreciated, their nervous system naturally relaxes, which makes

communication calmer and more open. This is especially meaningful for youth who are still

developing emotional regulation skills and learning to manage relational stress. Research by Algoe, Gable, and Maisel (2010) shows that expressions of gratitude in relationships lead to stronger emotional bonds and greater satisfaction over time. Even small acknowledgments, such as noticing a friend’s effort to check in or appreciating patience during a difficult conversation, can create meaningful feelings of being understood and valued. These moments help build a foundation of connection that is particularly important during seasons of transition and self-discovery.

The Connection Between Gratitude and Mental Health

For teens and young adults, mental health challenges such as anxiety, depression, stress, and self-doubt can make relationships feel overwhelming. Gratitude can serve as a powerful grounding tool during these times. Research shows that practicing appreciation activates brain regions associated with emotional regulation and connection, helping interrupt cycles of negative

thinking and soften the intensity of difficult feelings. Many young people experience pressure

from school, work, social comparison, and identity development. Gratitude can help shift attention away from constant self-evaluation and toward moments of support, kindness, and connection. Noticing even small gestures can help interrupt negative thinking patterns and foster a greater sense of stability and belonging. While gratitude is not a replacement for mental health care, it can complement therapeutic work by strengthening resilience, improving mood, and helping teens and young adults feel more supported in their relationships and daily lives.

Practicing Gratitude in Everyday Life, Even When Things Feel Hard

Gratitude has the greatest impact when it becomes a natural part of everyday life. For youth, this often begins with noticing small moments of support, such as a friend helping you study, a roommate listening after a stressful day, or a partner sending an encouraging message.Being specific when expressing appreciation helps it feel genuine and strengthens emotional closeness. Many young people also struggle to accept compliments or kind words, especially if they experience self-doubt or perfectionism. Pausing to say, “Thank you, that means a lot,” can

build confidence and make relationships feel more reciprocal. Gratitude is also useful during

conflict or overwhelming moments. Although it does not remove difficult emotions,acknowledging the other person’s effort can help de-escalate tension and keep communication respectful. A simple statement such as, “I appreciate that you are trying to talk through this with me,” can help both people stay grounded. Small rituals, such as nightly check-ins, shared gratitude notes, or brief reflections on what went well, keep appreciation present even during stressful times.

Supporting Youth in Building Gratitude

Families, peers, and dating partners play an important role in helping youth and young adults

develop gratitude as a relational skill. Modeling authentic appreciation in everyday interactions

shows what it looks like to notice effort, acknowledge care, and communicate warmth. Creating

an environment where gratitude feels natural rather than forced allows teens and young adults to

express it more authentically. Recognizing their effort, validating the challenges they face, and

naming their strengths help build emotional safety and trust. Simple habits, such as sharing one

positive moment from the day or sending a supportive message during a stressful week, make

gratitude feel more accessible. Many young people also struggle to receive appreciation. Encouraging openness to positive feedback reinforces balanced and connected relationships.

When the adults and peers in a young person’s life consistently validate and show emotional

presence, teens and young adults become more confident in expressing appreciation and

recognizing it in others.

Gratitude Builds Stronger Connections

Cultivating gratitude in relationships helps teens and young adults build stronger connections, feel more supported, and navigate challenges more effectively. Noticing and expressing appreciation, accepting support, and practicing gratitude regularly can make all relationships more secure and fulfilling.

At Resilient Life Counseling & Wellness, the team provides compassionate, evidence-informed counseling to help youth develop stronger communication skills, healthier relationship patterns, and

deeper emotional connections. Whether individuals are navigating friendship changes, family conflict, identity development, or romantic relationships, mental health counseling and support can help foster meaningful and lasting growth.